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Thursday, March 7, 2013
Should the First Date Be Your Last Date?
A lot of women worry about what to expect on a first date with a new guy. While everyone has different ideas about what they want on a date as well as in a relationship, there are a few signs that can show you whether or not a particular man is a “keeper.” They’re not very hard to spot either.
Pay close attention to this man’s choice of dating venue. A first date should have some criteria that need to be met. The place should be public, conservative, and casual. However, if this man seemed to have put no thought whatsoever into the location of your very first date together, either he’s not very imaginative or you just don’t matter that much to him.
Pay close attention to this man’s choice of dating venue. A first date should have some criteria that need to be met. The place should be public, conservative, and casual. However, if this man seemed to have put no thought whatsoever into the location of your very first date together, either he’s not very imaginative or you just don’t matter that much to him.
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Tuesday, February 26, 2013
How To Get Back Together With An Ex
To help you and your ex get back together, you need to understand the right way to formulate a game plan for getting the relationship to rekindle properly and proactively. Should you go to her and beg her to return to you? This is probably not the best way for you to facilitate getting back together with your ex. In order to help you and your ex get back together, you need to figure out what actions will actually drive the right results.
All relationships have the occasional hardship, and some of those hardships do eventually end in breakup, separation or divorce depending on the nature of the union. Just because the relationship has ended, though, it does not mean you were ready for it.
If you want to help you and your ex get back together, you need to brainstorm solutions that actually address the problems in your relationship.
In other words, if you want to help you and your ex get back together, you need to be proactive about rekindling the relationship rather than acting desperately.
So what is the perfect solution for someone who wants to rekindle their relationship? Here are a few strategies you could use. Most of them can be applied regardless of who your ex is (guy or girl).
All relationships have the occasional hardship, and some of those hardships do eventually end in breakup, separation or divorce depending on the nature of the union. Just because the relationship has ended, though, it does not mean you were ready for it.
If you want to help you and your ex get back together, you need to brainstorm solutions that actually address the problems in your relationship.
In other words, if you want to help you and your ex get back together, you need to be proactive about rekindling the relationship rather than acting desperately.
So what is the perfect solution for someone who wants to rekindle their relationship? Here are a few strategies you could use. Most of them can be applied regardless of who your ex is (guy or girl).
Labels:breakup,ex,get back | 0
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Monday, February 25, 2013
Emotionally Heal From Breakup
One of the worst things you can do is to not allow yourself all the time you need to emotionally heal from breakup. Many of us have been guilty of doing just that.
We are in so much pain and so desperate for relief from that pain that we try to speed the process up a little bit. Usually, this speeding up results in us lying to ourselves about where we really are in the grieving process.
In many cases we push those unwanted fears, hurts and insecurities down so far it's easy to convince ourselves that we really have had enough time to emotionally heal from breakup and are ready to start dating and move on.
The problem is that when we do that we are just prolonging our pain, though of course, we don't realize it at the time.
You see, if you try to bury your pain it is still alive and can come back and attack you when you least expect it. You've no doubt heard the saying "out of sight out of mind", well that is what happens.
We convince ourselves that we don't have any pain left simply because we don't "see it" and that we have fully grieved for our old relationship when in reality we haven't.
So, when our guard is down and we least expect it, there it is all over again. It is like all the scary movies where the maniac isn't really dead and whenever someone relaxes he attacks again.
The nice thing is that there are things you can do to diminish the likelihood of this happening:
1. First of all, give yourself permission to grieve for as long as it takes. Sometimes those that love us the most are the worst offenders when it comes to trying to rush us through our grieving process.
They hate to see us in pain because they love us and they try to encourage us to "get back out there". They mean well but often this is the worst advice possible.
I know you have enough to think about just trying to get over your ex and you don't really want to have to gauge if the advice you are getting from the people in your life is good or bad, but that is what you have to do.
Only you can know how you are really feeling. Your best bet is to find a quiet place and just sit and think for a while. If you do this without distractions you will probably get the right answer.
2. If you think you are ready to move on and that you are over the worst of your breakup pain, but you still have some doubts, you are probably not ready.
One way you may be able to tell, assuming you have people in your life who can and will tell it like it is, is to ask some of those oh so honest friends.
You may still be giving off signs that your ex is still on your mind. Maybe you are talking about them more than you realize, maybe you still haven't taken their picture down off of your wall.
Whatever it is, an honest friend can point that out to you.
Do yourself a favor and be willing to give yourself permission, and all the time you need, to emotionally heal from breakup. That is the best way to ensure that all your other relationships from that point on will be happy and fulfilling.
We are in so much pain and so desperate for relief from that pain that we try to speed the process up a little bit. Usually, this speeding up results in us lying to ourselves about where we really are in the grieving process.
In many cases we push those unwanted fears, hurts and insecurities down so far it's easy to convince ourselves that we really have had enough time to emotionally heal from breakup and are ready to start dating and move on.
The problem is that when we do that we are just prolonging our pain, though of course, we don't realize it at the time.
You see, if you try to bury your pain it is still alive and can come back and attack you when you least expect it. You've no doubt heard the saying "out of sight out of mind", well that is what happens.
We convince ourselves that we don't have any pain left simply because we don't "see it" and that we have fully grieved for our old relationship when in reality we haven't.
So, when our guard is down and we least expect it, there it is all over again. It is like all the scary movies where the maniac isn't really dead and whenever someone relaxes he attacks again.
The nice thing is that there are things you can do to diminish the likelihood of this happening:
1. First of all, give yourself permission to grieve for as long as it takes. Sometimes those that love us the most are the worst offenders when it comes to trying to rush us through our grieving process.
They hate to see us in pain because they love us and they try to encourage us to "get back out there". They mean well but often this is the worst advice possible.
I know you have enough to think about just trying to get over your ex and you don't really want to have to gauge if the advice you are getting from the people in your life is good or bad, but that is what you have to do.
Only you can know how you are really feeling. Your best bet is to find a quiet place and just sit and think for a while. If you do this without distractions you will probably get the right answer.
2. If you think you are ready to move on and that you are over the worst of your breakup pain, but you still have some doubts, you are probably not ready.
One way you may be able to tell, assuming you have people in your life who can and will tell it like it is, is to ask some of those oh so honest friends.
You may still be giving off signs that your ex is still on your mind. Maybe you are talking about them more than you realize, maybe you still haven't taken their picture down off of your wall.
Whatever it is, an honest friend can point that out to you.
Do yourself a favor and be willing to give yourself permission, and all the time you need, to emotionally heal from breakup. That is the best way to ensure that all your other relationships from that point on will be happy and fulfilling.
Labels:breakup,ex,grieving | 0
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Saturday, February 23, 2013
Flowers On A First Date - The Ladies Still Like It
Should you offer flowers on a first date? Well, there is really nothing wrong with it. Despite what many guys think (and florists want you to think) all women aren't into flowers. But what most people, men and women, do like is that someone took some extra time to think of them.
That is why flowers on a first date is almost always a good idea. It shows that you are looking forward to the date and that you thought it worth a little extra time and effort.
I was reading an article and it said not to buy a bunch of red roses for a first date. The reason it gave for that is valid; you don't want to waste a lot of money if the date doesn't work out.
But to me, that is only part of the reason. Another reason that is just as good, probably even better, is that a dozen red roses is actually coming on pretty strong.
Some women may actually view that in a bad light if you do it on a first date. You see red roses are a sign of love. When you show up with a dozen red roses for a first date that can really seem intimidating.
She will know you spent a lot of money and it may just seem like too much too soon. So, if not a dozen roses, then what? What types of flowers will let her know you are interested in her without coming on too strong?
Keep reading and I will give you some ideas that may work for you and your date:
1. The first one is pretty obvious, if you know she has a favorite flower start there. Even if her favorite flower is a rose (which mine is because I love the way they smell) you still don't have to get her a dozen and they don't need to be red.
You can start with a single rose. Or you can buy a bouquet that is a mix with a few roses thrown in. Much less expensive for you and much less (potentially) intimidating for her.
2. A bunch of wildflowers is a great idea in the spring and summer. The casualness of it can be a great middle ground. You are letting her know that you think she, and your date, are worth a little effort but you aren't coming on too strong.
One word of caution here though, many people suffer from allergies so you do need to be careful with wildflowers or any type of flowers.
3. A live plant may be appropriate too. True, this isn't as romantic of a gesture but if you know she is into gardening it may be appropriate.
4. Who is this woman? That sounds like an odd question and if it is a first date you may not really know yet, but one of the biggest mistakes men make is they listen to the t.v. too much.
The jewelers and florists who advertise on t.v. like to make men think that all women love chocolate, shoes, jewelry and flowers. That is not necessarily the case.
It's always best to take the personality of the woman you are going out with into consideration. Don't fall into the trap of stereotyping your date.
So, giving flowers on a first date is not a bad idea at all. Just make sure you strike the right balance and try to take her personality into account as much as you are able to at this early stage of the relationship.
That is why flowers on a first date is almost always a good idea. It shows that you are looking forward to the date and that you thought it worth a little extra time and effort.
I was reading an article and it said not to buy a bunch of red roses for a first date. The reason it gave for that is valid; you don't want to waste a lot of money if the date doesn't work out.
But to me, that is only part of the reason. Another reason that is just as good, probably even better, is that a dozen red roses is actually coming on pretty strong.
Some women may actually view that in a bad light if you do it on a first date. You see red roses are a sign of love. When you show up with a dozen red roses for a first date that can really seem intimidating.
She will know you spent a lot of money and it may just seem like too much too soon. So, if not a dozen roses, then what? What types of flowers will let her know you are interested in her without coming on too strong?
Keep reading and I will give you some ideas that may work for you and your date:
1. The first one is pretty obvious, if you know she has a favorite flower start there. Even if her favorite flower is a rose (which mine is because I love the way they smell) you still don't have to get her a dozen and they don't need to be red.
You can start with a single rose. Or you can buy a bouquet that is a mix with a few roses thrown in. Much less expensive for you and much less (potentially) intimidating for her.
2. A bunch of wildflowers is a great idea in the spring and summer. The casualness of it can be a great middle ground. You are letting her know that you think she, and your date, are worth a little effort but you aren't coming on too strong.
One word of caution here though, many people suffer from allergies so you do need to be careful with wildflowers or any type of flowers.
3. A live plant may be appropriate too. True, this isn't as romantic of a gesture but if you know she is into gardening it may be appropriate.
4. Who is this woman? That sounds like an odd question and if it is a first date you may not really know yet, but one of the biggest mistakes men make is they listen to the t.v. too much.
The jewelers and florists who advertise on t.v. like to make men think that all women love chocolate, shoes, jewelry and flowers. That is not necessarily the case.
It's always best to take the personality of the woman you are going out with into consideration. Don't fall into the trap of stereotyping your date.
So, giving flowers on a first date is not a bad idea at all. Just make sure you strike the right balance and try to take her personality into account as much as you are able to at this early stage of the relationship.
Labels:first date,flowers | 0
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Friday, February 22, 2013
Dating In Today's Economy - No Secret: This Can Be Expensive
It's no secret that dating can be expensive, especially in the early stages of a relationship. Until you get to know your date a little better it's just easier to stick with the dinner and a movie format. It is safe and allows the two of you the opportunity to bond. But, dating in today's economy is not without it's challenges and if you have a limited budget you may need to be a little more creative.
Even though dating in today's economy may provide some challenges to you financially, assuming you are one of those people who have been adversely affected by today's economy, you can still make it work.
If you are trying to impress someone on a limited budget you still have some options. The best thing you can do is try go get to know your date as well as possible and tailor your dates to the things they like to do.
And of course, you must never forget that if someone isn't interested in you just because you can't take them out to a fancy restaurant or shower them with gifts, they probably aren't someone you would really want to spend a lot of time with anyway.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with liking nice things and the opportunity to go to nice places. But if someone isn't interested in you just because you can't do those things, that is not a good sign.
It doesn't speak well for them that they would judge you solely on your ability to spend a lot of money on them.
Believe it or not, you may have dodged a bullet on this one!
Other than that, you can get very creative. Try these things:
1. The best dates are always the ones where the two of you can spend time together doing things that you both enjoy and creating memories and getting to know each other.
So, make that your focus. Try to find activities that you will both like. This is, of course, more challenging when you don't really know someone.
But you can always talk, or text, them and get to know them a little bit better before you go out. Pay attention to the things they talk about.
If you are paying attention you will most likely get a feel for the types of things they are interested in.
From that point on you should be able to find something creative to do on your dates.
2. Never underestimate the fun of just being together. No matter what the season, though I do think it is easier during spring and summer, there are always things the two of you can do.
Simple things like going for a walk, flying a kite, or star gazing can actually be very romantic if done right. And, the best part is that it won't cost you a thing.
There are also many things right in your own community that are free or low cost that may be fun. Go to your local chamber of commerce website, or "what's happening around town" section of your paper to find ideas of simple fun things you can do on your date.
Hey, I personally believe that money is not the root of all evil. Actually it is only a tool and can be an extremely helpful tool too. But if you are a little short of funds and you find dating in today's economy a challenge, just be willing to keep an open mind.
Even though dating in today's economy may provide some challenges to you financially, assuming you are one of those people who have been adversely affected by today's economy, you can still make it work.
If you are trying to impress someone on a limited budget you still have some options. The best thing you can do is try go get to know your date as well as possible and tailor your dates to the things they like to do.
And of course, you must never forget that if someone isn't interested in you just because you can't take them out to a fancy restaurant or shower them with gifts, they probably aren't someone you would really want to spend a lot of time with anyway.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with liking nice things and the opportunity to go to nice places. But if someone isn't interested in you just because you can't do those things, that is not a good sign.
It doesn't speak well for them that they would judge you solely on your ability to spend a lot of money on them.
Believe it or not, you may have dodged a bullet on this one!
Other than that, you can get very creative. Try these things:
1. The best dates are always the ones where the two of you can spend time together doing things that you both enjoy and creating memories and getting to know each other.
So, make that your focus. Try to find activities that you will both like. This is, of course, more challenging when you don't really know someone.
But you can always talk, or text, them and get to know them a little bit better before you go out. Pay attention to the things they talk about.
If you are paying attention you will most likely get a feel for the types of things they are interested in.
From that point on you should be able to find something creative to do on your dates.
2. Never underestimate the fun of just being together. No matter what the season, though I do think it is easier during spring and summer, there are always things the two of you can do.
Simple things like going for a walk, flying a kite, or star gazing can actually be very romantic if done right. And, the best part is that it won't cost you a thing.
There are also many things right in your own community that are free or low cost that may be fun. Go to your local chamber of commerce website, or "what's happening around town" section of your paper to find ideas of simple fun things you can do on your date.
Hey, I personally believe that money is not the root of all evil. Actually it is only a tool and can be an extremely helpful tool too. But if you are a little short of funds and you find dating in today's economy a challenge, just be willing to keep an open mind.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Tips For Dealing With Jealousy - Get Real
Have you found yourself in a relationship and constantly feeling jealous? Are you in a relationship now where you can't help but feel jealous? Feelings of jealousy come from being insecure. If you have low self esteem then you might feel that you are not good enough for your partner and worry that they will find someone more attractive. Your partner may not have done anything to make you jealous but it may be your state of mind that makes you lose confidence in yourself.
How you deal with jealousy will depend on what side of the fence you are sitting on. Is it you that is suffering from jealousy or do you have a partner that is suffering from jealousy?
If you have a partner that suffers from jealousy then you will need a lot of patience to get through this very difficult stage. It isn't easy to live with someone who does not trust you 100% and is always thinking the worst. It isn't easy to be interrogated every time you come home late or even look in the direction of another man or woman. It can get so difficult living this way that it can cause a relationship to break up. You need to decide whether the love you have for your partner is strong enough to work through this problem. If you decide that you love them enough and want to make the relationship work then you will need to help them resolve their issues. You can support them and love them through this time, but ultimately they need to resolve the issue and this might require counselling to help them see things differently. It can be a very difficult period but if you can resolve the issue it will be worth it.
If it is you who suffers from jealousy then you are probably aware that you have low self esteem and self worth. You may even be aware of some bad relationships in your childhood that have left you with these emotional wounds. Being jealous won't get your partner to behave any differently, only you can change these irrational feelings.
To stop these jealous feelings you may need to seek counselling. Self esteem issues can be deep rooted and you may need expert help to work through them. There are a number of good books that might also help you with your feelings and to develop some self esteem.
The feelings of jealousy will not just disappear; if you don't take steps to overcome these feelings then your relationship may not last. Even the most loving, patient partners can only put up with being accused of cheating so many times before they break. In fact, accusing them of cheating over and over again might actually lead them to do it. They might begin to think that if you are going to accuse them of it anyway they might as well do it.
Communicate with your partner and let them know exactly how you are feeling and why you feel that way. A good relationship should be able to get through difficult times like this and if you have an understanding partner they will support you through this time. Seek help to overcome your self esteem issues and soon you will be enjoying a loving relationship without constantly feeling jealous.
How you deal with jealousy will depend on what side of the fence you are sitting on. Is it you that is suffering from jealousy or do you have a partner that is suffering from jealousy?
If you have a partner that suffers from jealousy then you will need a lot of patience to get through this very difficult stage. It isn't easy to live with someone who does not trust you 100% and is always thinking the worst. It isn't easy to be interrogated every time you come home late or even look in the direction of another man or woman. It can get so difficult living this way that it can cause a relationship to break up. You need to decide whether the love you have for your partner is strong enough to work through this problem. If you decide that you love them enough and want to make the relationship work then you will need to help them resolve their issues. You can support them and love them through this time, but ultimately they need to resolve the issue and this might require counselling to help them see things differently. It can be a very difficult period but if you can resolve the issue it will be worth it.
If it is you who suffers from jealousy then you are probably aware that you have low self esteem and self worth. You may even be aware of some bad relationships in your childhood that have left you with these emotional wounds. Being jealous won't get your partner to behave any differently, only you can change these irrational feelings.
To stop these jealous feelings you may need to seek counselling. Self esteem issues can be deep rooted and you may need expert help to work through them. There are a number of good books that might also help you with your feelings and to develop some self esteem.
The feelings of jealousy will not just disappear; if you don't take steps to overcome these feelings then your relationship may not last. Even the most loving, patient partners can only put up with being accused of cheating so many times before they break. In fact, accusing them of cheating over and over again might actually lead them to do it. They might begin to think that if you are going to accuse them of it anyway they might as well do it.
Communicate with your partner and let them know exactly how you are feeling and why you feel that way. A good relationship should be able to get through difficult times like this and if you have an understanding partner they will support you through this time. Seek help to overcome your self esteem issues and soon you will be enjoying a loving relationship without constantly feeling jealous.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Personality Dating - Contemporary Tips And Advantages
In a world of ever evolving technology, the possibility of measuring and finding a perfect match for yourself is becoming more and more possible. Some would even dare to say that this capability is already here. Enter personality dating! There are a few ways you can enter this arena, and when done right, can yield awesome results in your dating life. You might even find the person you are looking for.
There are several personality types in the dating world, and in the world in general. The most common are passive, assertive and aggressive. You can find out which one you are by taking a couple of personality tests, or you probably already know which one you are. You can find some of these tests online, or even at some professional dating websites. The most balanced personality to have is an assertive one. This is not too passive and not too aggressive. Rather, you are attentive to what the other person is saying, you are sensitive to their viewpoints, and are also inquisitive to the point that sparks healthy conversation between the both of you. A great way to find out if you are being assertive is if during the course of phone conversation, both you and your partner have an equal opportunities and chances to speak to each other, and both of your talk times are about the same.
Personality tests are quite essential in personality dating because they essentially find out what kind of person you are. The Keirsey Temperament test is a famous one to take. Also the Jung Personality Test, the Big Five personality tests and the Myers Briggs Personality Tests are famous ones to take. Each of these tests will give you a small snapshot of your personality type. The results can change or remain the same throughout the course of your life, depending on what kind of person you are developing into at that present time.
When it comes to online dating sites searches, this is where personality dating comes into full force. The dating sites use your results from your personality tests to match against people from all over the nation. Remember to keep your geographic options open because you could very well be missing out on a perfect personality match that is a few states away. The possibilities are endless when it comes to this, and there are plenty of success stories out there to get you going.
There are several personality types in the dating world, and in the world in general. The most common are passive, assertive and aggressive. You can find out which one you are by taking a couple of personality tests, or you probably already know which one you are. You can find some of these tests online, or even at some professional dating websites. The most balanced personality to have is an assertive one. This is not too passive and not too aggressive. Rather, you are attentive to what the other person is saying, you are sensitive to their viewpoints, and are also inquisitive to the point that sparks healthy conversation between the both of you. A great way to find out if you are being assertive is if during the course of phone conversation, both you and your partner have an equal opportunities and chances to speak to each other, and both of your talk times are about the same.
Personality tests are quite essential in personality dating because they essentially find out what kind of person you are. The Keirsey Temperament test is a famous one to take. Also the Jung Personality Test, the Big Five personality tests and the Myers Briggs Personality Tests are famous ones to take. Each of these tests will give you a small snapshot of your personality type. The results can change or remain the same throughout the course of your life, depending on what kind of person you are developing into at that present time.
When it comes to online dating sites searches, this is where personality dating comes into full force. The dating sites use your results from your personality tests to match against people from all over the nation. Remember to keep your geographic options open because you could very well be missing out on a perfect personality match that is a few states away. The possibilities are endless when it comes to this, and there are plenty of success stories out there to get you going.
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