Romantic Dating

Is there a doctor in the house?  You need help healing a broken heart.  While I might not have an M.D. degree, I can give you some advice on how to get over a break up.

First of all, you need to realize that you are a worthwhile person.  A relationship is a two way street.  If one person is no longer participating, the relationship couldn’t work.  While you might have been able to change some things, you should learn from your past mistakes, but not dwell on them.

Just because your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you does not mean that you will never be in another relationship again.  In fact, you will probably be dating again before you would guess right now. 

If you are going to go about healing a broken heart, you need to be prepared to move on.  A practical and symbolic way to do this is to exchange all of the “stuff” you have of each other’s.  Anything that you don’t give back that reminds you of your ex should be thrown away or boxed up until the pain recedes. 

If you owe each other any money, this is a good time to pay up.  As you can see, the idea is to close out the ties that bind.

Then, tell your ex that you don’t want to see or talk to each other for a little while.  While it is possible that you’ll be friends in the future, avoid calling, texting, and emailing each other.  Also, don’t make a point of following your ex on Facebook or MySpace.  By clearing him or her out of your system, you are better able to move on.

Part of healing a broken heart is to get back into the world as soon as possible.  This is a three step process.

First, engage with your friends and family.  Let them support you through this grieving process.  But, don’t bore them with your troubles.  Instead, try to have fun with the people you care about. 

Second, engage with the world at large.  Go to the gym and work out because it will make you look and feel better.  Then, look at activities you can start up to fill your time such as a book group or a cooking class. 

If at all possible, try to get involved with something larger than yourself by volunteering.  Not only does this fill up your time and take your energy, it also lifts your spirits.

Third, start to date again.  You don’t need to fall in love with the first man or woman that you meet.  Sometimes dinner is just dinner.  Plan to go out on a number of dates with different people during this time when you are “testing the waters.”  Show them a good time, but don’t feel obligated to fall in love.  Remember that a rebound relationship is rarely fun for the other person.

Healing a broken heart takes time.  But you will not be in this position forever.  You will begin to love again.

It’s a situation that happens to nearly every woman and man at some point in your single life. You fall in love with a person who doesn’t return the feelings. This can be one of the most painful experiences for you and you may feel that you will never be able to recover from it. The best advice is to move on and find that person who loves you the same.

The first step in recovering from a situation such as this is deciding you want to move on. That’s right; you have to want to get over your feelings before anything will ever help you. If you’ve decided to wallow in your own personal pity party, nothing is ever going to make you happy again. That’s because you’ve made the decision to be miserable for the rest of your life because this one person did not love you back.

Please think about that for a minute. For just 60 seconds, consider what you’ve decided to do and ask yourself how much sense that actually makes.

Now, if you’re thinking more clearly and have decided to push forward in your recovery, your next step is to just accept that this isn’t going to happen. Chances are you’ve already tried all of your feminine wiles on the object of your affection without any results.

If getting your body in great shape, something new with your hair, new makeup techniques, and making sure he sees your new and improved body in the hot new bikini you bought all went unnoticed, it’s time to move on. The really awful part is when you run into him with a date that is not nearly as pretty as you, yet he seems to be totally enamored of her. Don’t wonder what’s wrong with you. Just accept that he has tastes in women that you do not match, for whatever reason.

The next thing to do is move thru your grief and anger over things not working out with this person. Allow yourself to act in whatever manner will help you get it out of your system. If this means that you cry, scream, throw or break things, so be it. Just make sure you’re only throwing and breaking things that belong to you and no one else. This is much like a death to you even though it was, most likely, never even alive to this man. Everyone is entitled to a grieving process and that’s a most important part of healing.

Once you’ve gone through the above steps, don’t avoid people. Your friends will want to be there for you now and help you in whatever way they can. Let them do this. It will make all of you feel much better. Go out with friends and in time let them introduce you to guys they just “know”  then it will be perfect for you. Who knows? One of them just may REALLY BE your perfect guy!

I've got a special gift for you today... Special gift for a special day :)

The early stages of a relationship are wonderful, aren't they? There's a certain comfort there, and the two of you are so in love that you'll never grow tired of each other. Well, that would be nice, but things don't stay perfect forever. One of the reasons the early stages are so carefree is that the curiosity factor is still high; you are still learning about each other. The relationship gets stale once that level of interest subsides. The following fun questions to ask your boyfriend will help to rekindle that interest, and make your relationship stronger.

What are your guilty pleasures?

We all have things that we privately enjoy, but are embarrassed to let other people know about it. Your boyfriend may not want to tell you right away, but keep asking until he tells you. Do your best not to laugh, no matter how silly you think his guilty pleasures are. Once you know what he secretly likes, you can try enjoying those things with him. Doing this will add something new to the relationship.

What are your favorite body parts?

This is actually a two-part question. You can start by asking the general question of what body parts he likes. After that, you can ask him what his favorite body parts of yours are. It's a seemingly innocent question, but don't be surprised if it leads to more passion.

What are your fantasies?

It's fairly common for a girlfriend to ask her boyfriend what his sexual fantasies are. You can certainly do that, and you should return the favor by sharing your sexual fantasies with him. However, you can add even more to your relationship by asking him about his other fantasies as well. Helping each other indulge any of your fantasies will deepen the trust and positive feelings that you have for one another.

What was your favorite _____ when you were a kid?

You can fill in the blank with just about anything. Not only will you get a more complete picture of who your boyfriend is, but you will also find that reminiscing together is a great experience.

What's the worst song currently on your MP3 player?

This is similar to the guilty pleasure question, but it also gives you a better idea of his tastes. Perhaps the worst song on his player isn't a guilty pleasure; maybe it's just a song he doesn't like anymore. Whatever the case may be, it will give you more insight into what makes him tick.

What's the wildest thing that you have ever done?

Warning! Only ask this question if you are ready for the answer. You may be shocked at some of the things your boyfriend has done, or you may be amused by them. The only way to find out is to ask him.

These are only a few of the fun questions to ask your boyfriend, but don't stop there. Once you start asking these kinds of questions you will see what an improvement it makes in your relationship.

Inevitably, when you are part of the dating world, you will need to face the question of just how soon you should let things move to a more physically intimate level. This is just a gentle and polite way of saying you will need to decide when the time is right to have sex. While this should be a rather simple thing to figure out, especially for adults, it can actually be a bit tricky.

First of all, even when you'’re well past the age of consent and, possibly, heading into early middle age, there'’s still a right time and a wrong time to move forward sexually. It really doesn't matter how enlightened people in the 21st century think they are, men still have a certain way of viewing a woman who will jump right into bed with them, no questions asked. If this describes you, don'’t be too surprised if a lot of guys are not calling you back. When you allow yourself to be used in this fashion, chances are you’re giving in MUCH too soon and these guys are just having a quick release with you.
This brings us to the First Date Rule. Agreeing to sex on the first date is a huge no-no. The only way that this is acceptable and probably not damaging to the budding relationship and your reputation is if the person is someone you’'ve known for a very long time and friendship has transitioned into romance.

Are you hoping to find that the second date is a more acceptable time frame to have sex for the first time? You should hear the Second Date Rule if you truly believe that. The second date is also too soon to hop into bed. Keep in mind that this is particularly true if you’'re just getting to know someone new.  Two dates is not enough time to know someone that well.

While many people seem to adhere to the Third Date Rule, that may still be a bit too soon if you really want this to turn into something wonderful. Too many people tend to do things backwards in relationships. For example, they meet at a bar or a party or wherever, spend some time drinking and talking, head back to his place or hers, and then have sex. Most of the time, they don’'t even know each other’'s last names. Also, these encounters typically turn into one night stands, which are never favorable when it comes to having a true relationship.

If a real relationship is what you’'re trying to find, give it some time before you give into your hormonal desires. Let the connection between the two of you grow and take time to really get to know each other. No, it doesn’'t have to be YEARS, but at least give it time to feel 100 percent right in every way. There’s much more of a chance for a successful relationship then.

Every now and again, a relationship problem comes up. Sometimes either one or both of you are prepared to handle it. You two may be able to give each other advice. But, every once in a while, there comes a time where both of you may need some relationship problem advice from someone else. When you do, there are several important things to consider.

First, talk to each other about it. It does not hurt to revisit the issue a couple of extra times so you both can be sure you covered all the ground you feel could be covered. Sometimes, it could be a simple misunderstanding in the way someone said something. Other times, it could be the way that person felt. And still other times, it could be what that other person did. In many cases, it's a combination of either one or more of all of those things. The skill here is to focus on what was missed and how you both can correct the mistake in a loving way.

Second, if you and your partner cannot seem to work it out yourselves, then it is wise to see a church counselor or community counselor. The benefits of discussing your relationship problem with your counselor is that you get a fresh, new perspective on the situation, and therefore this might lead you down the path of a more informed decision to solve the problem. Counselors are also good for developing coping strategies for any past pains either one or both of the partners may have with other people.

Even though it may be embarrassing to go see a counselor, it is certainly worth the appointment. Even if your partner or spouse does not want to go to counseling, you should strive to go by yourself. That way you can get a better perspective on how to approach the situation when you discuss it with your partner again. It does not even have to be marriage counseling. It can also be financial counseling or spiritual counseling.

Read some workbooks that either one or both of you can work on together. Not only is it fun, but it will help the both of you to bond together in ways you would have never imagined. Schedule a time where both of you can sit down and work on hypothetical situations together so that if the problems do arise in the future, both of you will be confident enough to work through them and come out stronger than ever.

Even in this day and age, many women feel as though they are relegated to a submissive role in their romantic relationships. "How do I dominate my boyfriend?" This sounds like a simple question, but it is one with a complex set of answers.

There is a deep psychological aspect to this question, and that means you will need to do some soul searching before you can fully answer it. Why do you feel the need to dominate? Is equality enough? Do you want revenge of some sort? Do you need to be in control? Are there events from your past that are making you feel this way now? Getting help from a psychologist or relationship counselor can help a great deal as you uncover the meaning behind your desire.

The following information is shared under the assumption that you will only use it for good. There are some powerful concepts here, so please do not use them to be abusive or negative in any way.

1. Have him do favors for you - The reason for this is not to reap the immediate benefits of the favors, though that is fringe benefit. The real reason for getting him to do favors for you is that he will like you more. His brain will seek ways to justify doing the favors and it's this justification that will lead to your becoming more dominant.

2. Make him work for you - Study after study has shown that women still do the majority of the chores around the home. Perhaps this is one of the biggest reasons why women have the need to regain some of the dominance in the relationship. Getting him to do some work for you will help to rebalance the scales. NOTE: While you may be appreciative of him doing his "fair share", you shouldn't make a big deal about it. Instead, act as though his working for you is to be expected.

3. Watch what you wear - No, we are not talking about wearing sexy clothes to make him all flustered. Instead, take a cue from people who are in a position of authority. Police officers, for example, almost always wear black, navy blue, or a darker shade of gray. They need every edge they can get to exert psychological dominance over the people they deal with, and watching what you wear will help you to get the upper hand.

4. Be a better decision maker - The more decisions you make, the less opportunity he we will have to be dominant over you. He may be able to question your decisions, but he can't change the fact that a decision has been made. Another benefit of making decisions is that you will get better at making them.

5. Take charge - Some men are dominant for no other reason than that their women are not. "How do I dominate my boyfriend?" You take charge and start being dominant. In other words, you just do it!