Romantic Dating

To help you and your ex get back together, you need to understand the right way to formulate a game plan for getting the relationship to rekindle properly and proactively. Should you go to her and beg her to return to you? This is probably not the best way for you to facilitate getting back together with your ex. In order to help you and your ex get back together, you need to figure out what actions will actually drive the right results.

All relationships have the occasional hardship, and some of those hardships do eventually end in breakup, separation or divorce depending on the nature of the union. Just because the relationship has ended, though, it does not mean you were ready for it.

If you want to help you and your ex get back together, you need to brainstorm solutions that actually address the problems in your relationship.

In other words, if you want to help you and your ex get back together, you need to be proactive about rekindling the relationship rather than acting desperately.

So what is the perfect solution for someone who wants to rekindle their relationship? Here are a few strategies you could use. Most of them can be applied regardless of who your ex is (guy or girl).

One of the worst things you can do is to not allow yourself all the time you need to emotionally heal from breakup. Many of us have been guilty of doing just that.

We are in so much pain and so desperate for relief from that pain that we try to speed the process up a little bit. Usually, this speeding up results in us lying to ourselves about where we really are in the grieving process.

In many cases we push those unwanted fears, hurts and insecurities down so far it's easy to convince ourselves that we really have had enough time to emotionally heal from breakup and are ready to start dating and move on.

The problem is that when we do that we are just prolonging our pain, though of course, we don't realize it at the time.

You see, if you try to bury your pain it is still alive and can come back and attack you when you least expect it. You've no doubt heard the saying "out of sight out of mind", well that is what happens.

We convince ourselves that we don't have any pain left simply because we don't "see it" and that we have fully grieved for our old relationship when in reality we haven't.

So, when our guard is down and we least expect it, there it is all over again. It is like all the scary movies where the maniac isn't really dead and whenever someone relaxes he attacks again.

The nice thing is that there are things you can do to diminish the likelihood of this happening:

1. First of all, give yourself permission to grieve for as long as it takes. Sometimes those that love us the most are the worst offenders when it comes to trying to rush us through our grieving process.

They hate to see us in pain because they love us and they try to encourage us to "get back out there". They mean well but often this is the worst advice possible.

I know you have enough to think about just trying to get over your ex and you don't really want to have to gauge if the advice you are getting from the people in your life is good or bad, but that is what you have to do.

Only you can know how you are really feeling. Your best bet is to find a quiet place and just sit and think for a while. If you do this without distractions you will probably get the right answer.

2. If you think you are ready to move on and that you are over the worst of your breakup pain, but you still have some doubts, you are probably not ready.

One way you may be able to tell, assuming you have people in your life who can and will tell it like it is, is to ask some of those oh so honest friends.

You may still be giving off signs that your ex is still on your mind. Maybe you are talking about them more than you realize, maybe you still haven't taken their picture down off of your wall.

Whatever it is, an honest friend can point that out to you.

Do yourself a favor and be willing to give yourself permission, and all the time you need, to emotionally heal from breakup. That is the best way to ensure that all your other relationships from that point on will be happy and fulfilling.

Should you offer flowers on a first date? Well, there is really nothing wrong with it. Despite what many guys think (and florists want you to think) all women aren't into flowers. But what most people, men and women, do like is that someone took some extra time to think of them.

That is why flowers on a first date is almost always a good idea. It shows that you are looking forward to the date and that you thought it worth a little extra time and effort.

I was reading an article and it said not to buy a bunch of red roses for a first date. The reason it gave for that is valid; you don't want to waste a lot of money if the date doesn't work out.

But to me, that is only part of the reason. Another reason that is just as good, probably even better, is that a dozen red roses is actually coming on pretty strong.

Some women may actually view that in a bad light if you do it on a first date. You see red roses are a sign of love. When you show up with a dozen red roses for a first date that can really seem intimidating.

She will know you spent a lot of money and it may just seem like too much too soon. So, if not a dozen roses, then what? What types of flowers will let her know you are interested in her without coming on too strong?

Keep reading and I will give you some ideas that may work for you and your date:

1. The first one is pretty obvious, if you know she has a favorite flower start there. Even if her favorite flower is a rose (which mine is because I love the way they smell) you still don't have to get her a dozen and they don't need to be red.

You can start with a single rose. Or you can buy a bouquet that is a mix with a few roses thrown in. Much less expensive for you and much less (potentially) intimidating for her.

2. A bunch of wildflowers is a great idea in the spring and summer. The casualness of it can be a great middle ground. You are letting her know that you think she, and your date, are worth a little effort but you aren't coming on too strong.

One word of caution here though, many people suffer from allergies so you do need to be careful with wildflowers or any type of flowers.

3. A live plant may be appropriate too. True, this isn't as romantic of a gesture but if you know she is into gardening it may be appropriate.

4. Who is this woman? That sounds like an odd question and if it is a first date you may not really know yet, but one of the biggest mistakes men make is they listen to the t.v. too much.

The jewelers and florists who advertise on t.v. like to make men think that all women love chocolate, shoes, jewelry and flowers. That is not necessarily the case.

It's always best to take the personality of the woman you are going out with into consideration. Don't fall into the trap of stereotyping your date.

So, giving flowers on a first date is not a bad idea at all. Just make sure you strike the right balance and try to take her personality into account as much as you are able to at this early stage of the relationship.

It's no secret that dating can be expensive, especially in the early stages of a relationship. Until you get to know your date a little better it's just easier to stick with the dinner and a movie format. It is safe and allows the two of you the opportunity to bond. But, dating in today's economy is not without it's challenges and if you have a limited budget you may need to be a little more creative.

Even though dating in today's economy may provide some challenges to you financially, assuming you are one of those people who have been adversely affected by today's economy, you can still make it work.

If you are trying to impress someone on a limited budget you still have some options. The best thing you can do is try go get to know your date as well as possible and tailor your dates to the things they like to do.

And of course, you must never forget that if someone isn't interested in you just because you can't take them out to a fancy restaurant or shower them with gifts, they probably aren't someone you would really want to spend a lot of time with anyway.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with liking nice things and the opportunity to go to nice places. But if someone isn't interested in you just because you can't do those things, that is not a good sign.

It doesn't speak well for them that they would judge you solely on your ability to spend a lot of money on them.

Believe it or not, you may have dodged a bullet on this one!

Other than that, you can get very creative. Try these things:

1. The best dates are always the ones where the two of you can spend time together doing things that you both enjoy and  creating memories and getting to know each other.

So, make that your focus. Try to find activities that you will both like. This is, of course, more challenging when you don't really know someone.

But you can always talk, or text, them and get to know them a little bit better before you go out. Pay attention to the things they talk about.

If you are paying attention you will most likely get a feel for the types of things they are interested in.

From that point on you should be able to find something creative to do on your dates.

2. Never underestimate the fun of just being together. No matter what the season, though I do think it is easier during spring and summer, there are always things the two of you can do.

Simple things like going for a walk, flying a kite, or star gazing can actually be very romantic if done right. And, the best part is that it won't cost you a thing.

There are also many things right in your own community that are free or low cost that may be fun. Go to your local chamber of commerce website, or "what's happening around town" section of your paper to find ideas of simple fun things you can do on your date.

Hey, I personally believe that money is not the root of all evil. Actually it is only a tool and can be an extremely helpful tool too. But if you are a little short of funds and you find dating in today's economy a challenge, just be willing to keep an open mind.

Have you found yourself in a relationship and constantly feeling jealous?  Are you in a relationship now where you can't help but feel jealous?  Feelings of jealousy come from being insecure.  If you have low self esteem then you might feel that you are not good enough for your partner and worry that they will find someone more attractive.  Your partner may not have done anything to make you jealous but it may be your state of mind that makes you lose confidence in yourself.

How you deal with jealousy will depend on what side of the fence you are sitting on.  Is it you that is suffering from jealousy or do you have a partner that is suffering from jealousy? 

If you have a partner that suffers from jealousy then you will need a lot of patience to get through this very difficult stage.  It isn't easy to live with someone who does not trust you 100% and is always thinking the worst.  It isn't easy to be interrogated every time you come home late or even look in the direction of another man or woman.  It can get so difficult living this way that it can cause a relationship to break up.  You need to decide whether the love you have for your partner is strong enough to work through this problem.  If you decide that you love them enough and want to make the relationship work then you will need to help them resolve their issues.  You can support them and love them through this time, but ultimately they need to resolve the issue and this might require counselling to help them see things differently.  It can be a very difficult period but if you can resolve the issue it will be worth it.

If it is you who suffers from jealousy then you are probably aware that you have low self esteem and self worth.  You may even be aware of some bad relationships in your childhood that have left you with these emotional wounds.  Being jealous won't get your partner to behave any differently, only you can change these irrational feelings.

To stop these jealous feelings you may need to seek counselling.  Self esteem issues can be deep rooted and you may need expert help to work through them.  There are a number of good books that might also help you with your feelings and to develop some self esteem.

The feelings of jealousy will not just disappear; if you don't take steps to overcome these feelings then your relationship may not last.  Even the most loving, patient partners can only put up with being accused of cheating so many times before they break.  In fact, accusing them of cheating over and over again might actually lead them to do it.  They might begin to think that if you are going to accuse them of it anyway they might as well do it.

Communicate with your partner and let them know exactly how you are feeling and why you feel that way.  A good relationship should be able to get through difficult times like this and if you have an understanding partner they will support you through this time.  Seek help to overcome your self esteem issues and soon you will be enjoying a loving relationship without constantly feeling jealous.

In a world of ever evolving technology, the possibility of measuring and finding a perfect match for yourself is becoming more and more possible. Some would even dare to say that this capability is already here. Enter personality dating! There are a few ways you can enter this arena, and when done right, can yield awesome results in your dating life. You might even find the person you are looking for.

There are several personality types in the dating world, and in the world in general. The most common are passive, assertive and aggressive. You can find out which one you are by taking a couple of personality tests, or you probably already know which one you are. You can find some of these tests online, or even at some professional dating websites. The most balanced personality to have is an assertive one. This is not too passive and not too aggressive. Rather, you are attentive to what the other person is saying, you are sensitive to their viewpoints, and are also inquisitive to the point that sparks healthy conversation between the both of you. A great way to find out if you are being assertive is if during the course of phone conversation,  both you and your partner have an equal opportunities and chances to speak to each other, and both of your talk times are about the same.

Personality tests are quite essential in personality dating because they essentially find out what kind of person you are. The Keirsey Temperament test is a famous one to take. Also the Jung Personality Test, the Big Five personality tests and the Myers Briggs Personality Tests are famous ones to take. Each of these tests will give you a small snapshot of your personality type. The results can change or remain the same throughout the course of your life, depending on what kind of person you are developing into at that present time.

When it comes to online dating sites searches, this is where personality dating comes into full force. The dating sites use your results from your personality tests to match against people from all over the nation. Remember to keep your geographic options open because you could very well be missing out on a perfect personality match that is a few states away. The possibilities are endless when it comes to this, and there are plenty of success stories out there to get you going.

Is there a doctor in the house?  You need help healing a broken heart.  While I might not have an M.D. degree, I can give you some advice on how to get over a break up.

First of all, you need to realize that you are a worthwhile person.  A relationship is a two way street.  If one person is no longer participating, the relationship couldn’t work.  While you might have been able to change some things, you should learn from your past mistakes, but not dwell on them.

Just because your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you does not mean that you will never be in another relationship again.  In fact, you will probably be dating again before you would guess right now. 

If you are going to go about healing a broken heart, you need to be prepared to move on.  A practical and symbolic way to do this is to exchange all of the “stuff” you have of each other’s.  Anything that you don’t give back that reminds you of your ex should be thrown away or boxed up until the pain recedes. 

If you owe each other any money, this is a good time to pay up.  As you can see, the idea is to close out the ties that bind.

Then, tell your ex that you don’t want to see or talk to each other for a little while.  While it is possible that you’ll be friends in the future, avoid calling, texting, and emailing each other.  Also, don’t make a point of following your ex on Facebook or MySpace.  By clearing him or her out of your system, you are better able to move on.

Part of healing a broken heart is to get back into the world as soon as possible.  This is a three step process.

First, engage with your friends and family.  Let them support you through this grieving process.  But, don’t bore them with your troubles.  Instead, try to have fun with the people you care about. 

Second, engage with the world at large.  Go to the gym and work out because it will make you look and feel better.  Then, look at activities you can start up to fill your time such as a book group or a cooking class. 

If at all possible, try to get involved with something larger than yourself by volunteering.  Not only does this fill up your time and take your energy, it also lifts your spirits.

Third, start to date again.  You don’t need to fall in love with the first man or woman that you meet.  Sometimes dinner is just dinner.  Plan to go out on a number of dates with different people during this time when you are “testing the waters.”  Show them a good time, but don’t feel obligated to fall in love.  Remember that a rebound relationship is rarely fun for the other person.

Healing a broken heart takes time.  But you will not be in this position forever.  You will begin to love again.

It’s a situation that happens to nearly every woman and man at some point in your single life. You fall in love with a person who doesn’t return the feelings. This can be one of the most painful experiences for you and you may feel that you will never be able to recover from it. The best advice is to move on and find that person who loves you the same.

The first step in recovering from a situation such as this is deciding you want to move on. That’s right; you have to want to get over your feelings before anything will ever help you. If you’ve decided to wallow in your own personal pity party, nothing is ever going to make you happy again. That’s because you’ve made the decision to be miserable for the rest of your life because this one person did not love you back.

Please think about that for a minute. For just 60 seconds, consider what you’ve decided to do and ask yourself how much sense that actually makes.

Now, if you’re thinking more clearly and have decided to push forward in your recovery, your next step is to just accept that this isn’t going to happen. Chances are you’ve already tried all of your feminine wiles on the object of your affection without any results.

If getting your body in great shape, something new with your hair, new makeup techniques, and making sure he sees your new and improved body in the hot new bikini you bought all went unnoticed, it’s time to move on. The really awful part is when you run into him with a date that is not nearly as pretty as you, yet he seems to be totally enamored of her. Don’t wonder what’s wrong with you. Just accept that he has tastes in women that you do not match, for whatever reason.

The next thing to do is move thru your grief and anger over things not working out with this person. Allow yourself to act in whatever manner will help you get it out of your system. If this means that you cry, scream, throw or break things, so be it. Just make sure you’re only throwing and breaking things that belong to you and no one else. This is much like a death to you even though it was, most likely, never even alive to this man. Everyone is entitled to a grieving process and that’s a most important part of healing.

Once you’ve gone through the above steps, don’t avoid people. Your friends will want to be there for you now and help you in whatever way they can. Let them do this. It will make all of you feel much better. Go out with friends and in time let them introduce you to guys they just “know”  then it will be perfect for you. Who knows? One of them just may REALLY BE your perfect guy!

I've got a special gift for you today... Special gift for a special day :)

The early stages of a relationship are wonderful, aren't they? There's a certain comfort there, and the two of you are so in love that you'll never grow tired of each other. Well, that would be nice, but things don't stay perfect forever. One of the reasons the early stages are so carefree is that the curiosity factor is still high; you are still learning about each other. The relationship gets stale once that level of interest subsides. The following fun questions to ask your boyfriend will help to rekindle that interest, and make your relationship stronger.

What are your guilty pleasures?

We all have things that we privately enjoy, but are embarrassed to let other people know about it. Your boyfriend may not want to tell you right away, but keep asking until he tells you. Do your best not to laugh, no matter how silly you think his guilty pleasures are. Once you know what he secretly likes, you can try enjoying those things with him. Doing this will add something new to the relationship.

What are your favorite body parts?

This is actually a two-part question. You can start by asking the general question of what body parts he likes. After that, you can ask him what his favorite body parts of yours are. It's a seemingly innocent question, but don't be surprised if it leads to more passion.

What are your fantasies?

It's fairly common for a girlfriend to ask her boyfriend what his sexual fantasies are. You can certainly do that, and you should return the favor by sharing your sexual fantasies with him. However, you can add even more to your relationship by asking him about his other fantasies as well. Helping each other indulge any of your fantasies will deepen the trust and positive feelings that you have for one another.

What was your favorite _____ when you were a kid?

You can fill in the blank with just about anything. Not only will you get a more complete picture of who your boyfriend is, but you will also find that reminiscing together is a great experience.

What's the worst song currently on your MP3 player?

This is similar to the guilty pleasure question, but it also gives you a better idea of his tastes. Perhaps the worst song on his player isn't a guilty pleasure; maybe it's just a song he doesn't like anymore. Whatever the case may be, it will give you more insight into what makes him tick.

What's the wildest thing that you have ever done?

Warning! Only ask this question if you are ready for the answer. You may be shocked at some of the things your boyfriend has done, or you may be amused by them. The only way to find out is to ask him.

These are only a few of the fun questions to ask your boyfriend, but don't stop there. Once you start asking these kinds of questions you will see what an improvement it makes in your relationship.

Inevitably, when you are part of the dating world, you will need to face the question of just how soon you should let things move to a more physically intimate level. This is just a gentle and polite way of saying you will need to decide when the time is right to have sex. While this should be a rather simple thing to figure out, especially for adults, it can actually be a bit tricky.

First of all, even when you'’re well past the age of consent and, possibly, heading into early middle age, there'’s still a right time and a wrong time to move forward sexually. It really doesn't matter how enlightened people in the 21st century think they are, men still have a certain way of viewing a woman who will jump right into bed with them, no questions asked. If this describes you, don'’t be too surprised if a lot of guys are not calling you back. When you allow yourself to be used in this fashion, chances are you’re giving in MUCH too soon and these guys are just having a quick release with you.
This brings us to the First Date Rule. Agreeing to sex on the first date is a huge no-no. The only way that this is acceptable and probably not damaging to the budding relationship and your reputation is if the person is someone you’'ve known for a very long time and friendship has transitioned into romance.

Are you hoping to find that the second date is a more acceptable time frame to have sex for the first time? You should hear the Second Date Rule if you truly believe that. The second date is also too soon to hop into bed. Keep in mind that this is particularly true if you’'re just getting to know someone new.  Two dates is not enough time to know someone that well.

While many people seem to adhere to the Third Date Rule, that may still be a bit too soon if you really want this to turn into something wonderful. Too many people tend to do things backwards in relationships. For example, they meet at a bar or a party or wherever, spend some time drinking and talking, head back to his place or hers, and then have sex. Most of the time, they don’'t even know each other’'s last names. Also, these encounters typically turn into one night stands, which are never favorable when it comes to having a true relationship.

If a real relationship is what you’'re trying to find, give it some time before you give into your hormonal desires. Let the connection between the two of you grow and take time to really get to know each other. No, it doesn’'t have to be YEARS, but at least give it time to feel 100 percent right in every way. There’s much more of a chance for a successful relationship then.

Every now and again, a relationship problem comes up. Sometimes either one or both of you are prepared to handle it. You two may be able to give each other advice. But, every once in a while, there comes a time where both of you may need some relationship problem advice from someone else. When you do, there are several important things to consider.

First, talk to each other about it. It does not hurt to revisit the issue a couple of extra times so you both can be sure you covered all the ground you feel could be covered. Sometimes, it could be a simple misunderstanding in the way someone said something. Other times, it could be the way that person felt. And still other times, it could be what that other person did. In many cases, it's a combination of either one or more of all of those things. The skill here is to focus on what was missed and how you both can correct the mistake in a loving way.

Second, if you and your partner cannot seem to work it out yourselves, then it is wise to see a church counselor or community counselor. The benefits of discussing your relationship problem with your counselor is that you get a fresh, new perspective on the situation, and therefore this might lead you down the path of a more informed decision to solve the problem. Counselors are also good for developing coping strategies for any past pains either one or both of the partners may have with other people.

Even though it may be embarrassing to go see a counselor, it is certainly worth the appointment. Even if your partner or spouse does not want to go to counseling, you should strive to go by yourself. That way you can get a better perspective on how to approach the situation when you discuss it with your partner again. It does not even have to be marriage counseling. It can also be financial counseling or spiritual counseling.

Read some workbooks that either one or both of you can work on together. Not only is it fun, but it will help the both of you to bond together in ways you would have never imagined. Schedule a time where both of you can sit down and work on hypothetical situations together so that if the problems do arise in the future, both of you will be confident enough to work through them and come out stronger than ever.

Even in this day and age, many women feel as though they are relegated to a submissive role in their romantic relationships. "How do I dominate my boyfriend?" This sounds like a simple question, but it is one with a complex set of answers.

There is a deep psychological aspect to this question, and that means you will need to do some soul searching before you can fully answer it. Why do you feel the need to dominate? Is equality enough? Do you want revenge of some sort? Do you need to be in control? Are there events from your past that are making you feel this way now? Getting help from a psychologist or relationship counselor can help a great deal as you uncover the meaning behind your desire.

The following information is shared under the assumption that you will only use it for good. There are some powerful concepts here, so please do not use them to be abusive or negative in any way.

1. Have him do favors for you - The reason for this is not to reap the immediate benefits of the favors, though that is fringe benefit. The real reason for getting him to do favors for you is that he will like you more. His brain will seek ways to justify doing the favors and it's this justification that will lead to your becoming more dominant.

2. Make him work for you - Study after study has shown that women still do the majority of the chores around the home. Perhaps this is one of the biggest reasons why women have the need to regain some of the dominance in the relationship. Getting him to do some work for you will help to rebalance the scales. NOTE: While you may be appreciative of him doing his "fair share", you shouldn't make a big deal about it. Instead, act as though his working for you is to be expected.

3. Watch what you wear - No, we are not talking about wearing sexy clothes to make him all flustered. Instead, take a cue from people who are in a position of authority. Police officers, for example, almost always wear black, navy blue, or a darker shade of gray. They need every edge they can get to exert psychological dominance over the people they deal with, and watching what you wear will help you to get the upper hand.

4. Be a better decision maker - The more decisions you make, the less opportunity he we will have to be dominant over you. He may be able to question your decisions, but he can't change the fact that a decision has been made. Another benefit of making decisions is that you will get better at making them.

5. Take charge - Some men are dominant for no other reason than that their women are not. "How do I dominate my boyfriend?" You take charge and start being dominant. In other words, you just do it!