Romantic Dating

Is there a doctor in the house?  You need help healing a broken heart.  While I might not have an M.D. degree, I can give you some advice on how to get over a break up.

First of all, you need to realize that you are a worthwhile person.  A relationship is a two way street.  If one person is no longer participating, the relationship couldn’t work.  While you might have been able to change some things, you should learn from your past mistakes, but not dwell on them.

Just because your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you does not mean that you will never be in another relationship again.  In fact, you will probably be dating again before you would guess right now. 

If you are going to go about healing a broken heart, you need to be prepared to move on.  A practical and symbolic way to do this is to exchange all of the “stuff” you have of each other’s.  Anything that you don’t give back that reminds you of your ex should be thrown away or boxed up until the pain recedes. 

If you owe each other any money, this is a good time to pay up.  As you can see, the idea is to close out the ties that bind.

Then, tell your ex that you don’t want to see or talk to each other for a little while.  While it is possible that you’ll be friends in the future, avoid calling, texting, and emailing each other.  Also, don’t make a point of following your ex on Facebook or MySpace.  By clearing him or her out of your system, you are better able to move on.

Part of healing a broken heart is to get back into the world as soon as possible.  This is a three step process.

First, engage with your friends and family.  Let them support you through this grieving process.  But, don’t bore them with your troubles.  Instead, try to have fun with the people you care about. 

Second, engage with the world at large.  Go to the gym and work out because it will make you look and feel better.  Then, look at activities you can start up to fill your time such as a book group or a cooking class. 

If at all possible, try to get involved with something larger than yourself by volunteering.  Not only does this fill up your time and take your energy, it also lifts your spirits.

Third, start to date again.  You don’t need to fall in love with the first man or woman that you meet.  Sometimes dinner is just dinner.  Plan to go out on a number of dates with different people during this time when you are “testing the waters.”  Show them a good time, but don’t feel obligated to fall in love.  Remember that a rebound relationship is rarely fun for the other person.

Healing a broken heart takes time.  But you will not be in this position forever.  You will begin to love again.